50 Shades of Grief: Navigating the Terrain of Grief

by: Dr. Tammy Isaac

Grief is not a single color. It’s not simply sadness or tears. It’s a spectrum layered, complex, and ever-changing. Like the shifting hues of the sky at sunrise or sunset, grief reveals itself in many shades, each telling its own story. In my recent Permission to Breathe Podcast episode, I explored what I call the “50 Shades of Grief.” Not because we can literally count them, but because grief takes on so many forms that it becomes impossible to capture in just one definition.

The Many Shades of Grief

Grief isn’t limited to death. It arises in the loss of relationships, health, jobs, dreams, or even identity. Every shade matters. Every loss deserves recognition. One person’s grief may look like tears, while another’s may look like silence. In some cultures, grief is loud and communal; in others, it’s quiet and restrained. Neither is wrong. They are simply different expressions of the same human ache.

Emotional Shades

Sadness is often the first emotion we associate with grief, but it’s far from the only one. Anger, guilt, confusion, relief, and even joy all show up along the way. These emotions may feel contradictory, but they can and often do coexist. Allowing them to live side by side is part of honoring the truth of your grief.

Physical and Spiritual Shades

Grief doesn’t stay tucked away in the heart. It shows up in the body, fatigue, changes in sleep, appetite shifts, headaches, tightness in the chest. The body remembers loss. Spiritually, grief can shake our faith or deepen it. Some find themselves questioning God, while others feel His presence more than ever. Both experiences are valid. Sometimes silence itself becomes the most honest prayer.

Complicated and Overlapping Grief

Some grief is layered: multiple losses, unresolved conflicts, or trauma that makes the healing process more difficult. Overlapping grief can feel like a mountain too steep to climb. If your grief feels complicated, it doesn’t mean you’re weak it means your loss is telling the truth about how deep and significant it really is.

Navigating the Terrain

There’s no right way to grieve, but there are ways to support yourself along the journey:

• Name your grief. Give it words through journaling, letters, or spoken prayers.

• Create rituals. Light candles, cook favorite meals, or build memory boxes that keep love alive.

• Lean into community. Healing happens in connection.

• Practice self-compassion. Give yourself permission to take the time you need.

• Seek support. Counselors, chaplains, and support groups can walk with you through the heaviest terrain.

Final Reflection

Grief is not something to get over; it’s something to walk through. Every shade you experience matters. Every step on the terrain of grief tells a story of love, of loss, and of the courage it takes to keep breathing. If this reflection resonates with you, I invite you to listen to the full conversation on my podcast episode, 50 Shades of Grief: Navigating the Terrain of Grief, now streaming on Spotify and Apple Podcast.

Join the BOLD Influencers private group on Tuesday, September 23rd, from 7:30 pm to 8:00 pm for a micro-learning session on Navigating the Shades of Grief with guest expert Dr. Tammy Isaac. The event will be hosted by Thecia Jenkins, Emotional Intelligence expert and domestic violence advocate.

Most people think grief belongs only to death. But there is another kind-quiet, persistent, and

invisible-that grows from pain that never leaves. Chronic pain does more than ache in the body; it reshapes identity, alters relationships, and grieves the life that once was.

In The Grief Inside the Ache: Pain Led. Grief Followed., Dr. Tammy Isaac, spiritual practitioner, Grief Advocate and Educator, author, and host of the Permission to Breathe podcast, gives voice to the grief that exists in the shadows of chronic illness. Drawing from years of bedside ministry, research on the brain's shared pathways for physical and emotional pain, and a deep compassion for those living in the tension of what remains, she offers:

• Insight into why chronic pain impacts both body and soul

• Practical tools to navigate the emotional and spiritual toll of long-term illness

• Stories and reflections that name the losses no one talks about

• Encouragement to live honestly in pain and freely in grief