Scrubs Can’t Cover This: Why Nurse Grief Deserves Attention
- Tammy Isaac DMin
- Aug 3
- 2 min read
by: Rev. Dr. Tammy Isaac
We often admire nurses for their strength their ability to remain calm in chaos, to care for patients with compassion, to work long hours without complaint. We see their scrubs, their badges, their professionalism. But what we don’t always see… are their scars. Not the physical kind. But the emotional ones. The spiritual ones. The invisible ones that form quietly from repeated loss, moral distress, and unprocessed grief.
The Silent Grief Nurses Carry
Grief isn’t just what happens when a patient dies. Nurses experience layered grief, grief from trauma witnessed, grief from ethical dilemmas, grief from personal loss carried into the workplace. And often, there’s no space to name it. No time to process it. No one to sit with it.
According to recent studies:
65% of nurses report high stress and burnout.
Nearly 40% plan to leave the profession by 2029.
And the suicide rate among registered nurses continues to rise.
These statistics point to something deeper than workplace dissatisfaction. They point to unacknowledged sorrow.
The Role of Chaplains in Nurse Well-being
As a chaplain, I’ve witnessed firsthand the toll this profession takes on the human soul. But I’ve also seen what’s possible when someone is given space to feel, grieve, and heal. Chaplains are trained to offer emotional and spiritual care not just for patients and families, but for staff. We show up during moments of crisis and during quiet in-between moments. We help nurses navigate moral distress. We offer a listening ear. We remind them that their pain matters, too.
Breaking Through the Barriers
But let’s be honest many nurses never reach out. Some don’t know chaplain support is available. Others don’t have the time. And many feel pressure to “stay strong,” to suppress vulnerability in order to survive. That’s why integration matters. Chaplains should be visible in unit meetings, break rooms, and daily rounds not just called in when someone dies. Grief debriefings should be normalized. Reflection should be protected. And staff care should be seen as essential not optional.
Nurses Grieve Outside the Hospital, Too
We must also remember that nurses carry grief from their personal lives. They show up after funerals. After breakups. After caring for their own chronically ill loved ones. They grieve miscarriages, family losses, and personal trauma, then walk into work and comfort strangers. That kind of strength is sacred. But it also needs support.
The Way Forward
If we want nurses to stay in this profession, if we truly want to care for those who care for everyone else, then we need to build systems of support emotional, spiritual, and human. Let’s stop glamorizing burnout. Let’s stop pretending grief isn’t part of the job. Let’s start seeing the scars beneath the scrubs. Because healing doesn’t begin with discharge papers or policy changes. It begins with presence. With compassion. With the simple act of saying, “You don’t have to carry this alone.”
Listen to the full episode: You See My Scrubs, Not My Scars: Who Heals the healers, now streaming on Spotify and Apple podcasts.
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