When Gratitude and Grief Share the Same Table

By Dr. Tammy Isaac | Breathe Grief Blog – November 2025

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, laughter, and togetherness a time when families gather, tables overflow, and gratitude fills the air. But for those who are grieving, Thanksgiving can feel like a collision of opposites: gratitude and grief sitting side by side, each demanding space in the same heart. The truth is that grief doesn’t take a holiday. The ache of absence can be louder when the world feels cheerful. You may find yourself smiling through a lump in your throat or feeling guilty for moments of laughter. This emotional tug-of-war is not a sign of weakness; it’s evidence of love still alive within you.

The Empty Chair and the Full Heart

Perhaps there’s an empty seat at your table this year a reminder of someone whose presence once filled the room with warmth. It’s natural to want to avoid the pain that memory brings, yet remembering is also a sacred act. Light a candle. Say their name. Share their favorite story. These small gestures turn grief into gratitude not for the loss itself, but for the love that once was, and still is. Grief and gratitude are not opposites; they are companions. One acknowledges what we have lost, while the other honors what remains. When we make room for both, our hearts expand with compassion for ourselves and for others who are hurting.

Practicing Gentle Gratitude

This Thanksgiving, consider practicing what I call gentle gratitude. It doesn’t demand joy or deny pain. It allows you to thank God for what still sustains you, faith, friendship, memory, breath even as you mourn what’s missing.

• Be kind to yourself. You don’t have to host, attend, or perform joy.

• Create a quiet ritual of remembrance. Grief deserves a place at the table too.

• Allow tears and laughter to coexist. Both are sacred expressions of love.

• Take breathing breaks deep, slow reminders that you are still here, still living, still loved.

Gentle gratitude whispers, “Even in sorrow, my heart can give thanks.”

Faith at the Table of Loss

Scripture reminds us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) Comfort doesn’t always mean the pain disappears. Sometimes it means finding God’s presence right there in the midst of it in the hand that holds yours, the memory that makes you smile, or the quiet moment when you sense peace where there was once only ache. When gratitude and grief share the same table, they teach us something profound: love never dies. The seat may be empty, but the bond remains. So, this Thanksgiving, breathe deeply. Light a candle. Let both love and loss have their place at your table and know that God sits there too.

Listen & Reflect

Podcast Episode: “Surviving the Holidays: Finding Resilience in the Midst of Grief” on the Permission to Breathe Podcast.

Related Reading: Carrying Love, Carrying Loss: The Caregiver’s Journey.

Reflection Prompt: What still sustains you, even in your sorrow?